.:no one dances around coconut trees. believe me:.

souvenir

2009-05-01T11:06:00.002+08:00

it's going to be my last week at uni. after four years of unibashing and whining and grumbling, i think i am going to miss this place. including the motherland with its share of dubious characters. (:

BUT i'll always have something to remember my college days. i'll be constantly reminded - when i wake up in the morning, work or go to sleep, i'll see it. i'm going to take back something permanent and irreversible and irreplaceable that will undeniably lead me to reminisce about the days when i was still a child.

my eyebags. yipeee.

far from geek

2009-04-15T09:07:00.003+08:00

i'm addicted to beauty and the geek - it's ridiculous how these girls are that stupid and how (s0me of) the men are that socially inept. it's also amazing how fantabulous (most of) the men look after makeovers that suddenly make them that much more attractive.

in the most recent episode i watched, the test topic of the week for the men was understanding and appreciating women. they were tested on their ability to listen to women, and ignore the fact that she was naked. tough!

totally unrelated - i realise now that H is well versed in the art of interpreting women (i.e me). you know how no one can figure out when no means yes and when yes means no? he has. YAY. he should get 250 000.

H: white over red wine right? (meaning: i have no clue what you drink but i am going to make it sound like i do)
me: (thinks: good evasion! and answers) neither. rose! why you by me wine! don't waste money hahaha
H: i'm going to take that to mean it's expensive but buy me one anyway.
me: omg how does he know!

lol. i have to get more complicated.

i told myself not to blog about dr*v**g

2009-03-13T22:35:00.003+08:00

but today was funny/interesting/weird. i had the most perverse conversation with my driving instructor (kinda like what ash, me and ni would discuss perhaps 1 or 2 years ago) once he realised that i was thick skinned enough to listen and react to his rubbish. not going to discuss entire conversation - let's just say R21.

also, it was the first time a manjan called me sarakku. wait - make that the first time anyone's called me sarakku. lol.

also the first time i couldn't do the S course! AH die.

did you know

2009-03-06T00:25:00.003+08:00

that apparently, temples are a great place to pick up girls? i'm thinking from a man's perspective, temples are where you meet the nice, homely types that you can bring home to your mum. and since the girl of interest would probably be dressed decently it would also mean she is not a skank. and it would mean that every month she's fast for your good health and long life.

religion could be the new SDU wooo.

in other random news, my gluteus maximus has disappeared. it's as if whatever was on my butt has moved to my gut. wth!

midsem

2009-03-02T08:49:00.003+08:00

fuck, midsem's OVER. which means i (inshallah) graduate in 6 to 8 weeks and become an adult. that sucks.

funny, i actually managed to finish all that i set out to do during the break. god, i have no social life =( that sucks.

you suck. everybody sucks. GAH i wish i could return to teenage immaturity again. boohoo.

sexymen

2009-02-22T13:21:00.003+08:00

without a doubt, girls find men who are married (kids optional), intelligent and talented sexy, simply because they are unattainable.

i had a crush on one such man in my first year (KPT! haha) and i discovered number 2 today. once i was told he was a father of 2, BAM he became that much sexier. (wind knocked out of you) oof. if that's how he looks when he's in his forties, i'm not stopping dance and i'm starting yoga. i feel like a secondary school girl, and now all i want to do is stare, giggle, gape and impress. suddenly dancing is emotionally stressful hahaha.

do you realise

2009-02-17T22:00:00.001+08:00

that the people you dislike are usually people that you wish you were like, or people that are like you?

doesn't that freak you out?!

how to feel better

2009-02-15T22:37:00.002+08:00

it's always retail therapy vs food therapy. i usually pick food, but today i decided retail would do.

on impulse bought a TBD and (omg) skinny jeans! inspired by jiv and ams - if they can wear so can i. sexciting. more incentive to lose weight HAHA. run anuja run! with my 3 inch heels they look SO good.

these were the reactions:

me: i bought skinny jeans!
ash: how can you wear you have fat thighs!

me: i bought skinny jeans!
ling: you sure can fit all of you or not?

WAH LAU. bitches.

he loves me, he loves me not. happy valentines.

2009-02-14T14:07:00.003+08:00

to the love of my life:

it's not supposed to be this way. we've been together for a significant amount of time, and that means that i should be sure about you. i should be confident of a future with you. but, i'm not so sure. sometimes you aggravate me. i just want to dump you and run away with someone else.

it's come to a point where every meeting with you is painful, arduous, confusing and time consuming. perhaps this is a waste of time. and we don't even see each other that often. why aren't you easier to understand? i've tried so hard to get you. you confuse me. i'm tired. too many sleepless night because of you.

this love-hate relationship is emotionally destructive. maybe it's a good thing that we only have a few months left together before you leave. till then, be nice to me, will you, econs?

love,
anuja

twilight

2009-02-07T22:35:00.004+08:00

don't judge me - i finished reading (more like scanning) the 4 books in the twilight series. didn't buy the book; i downloaded free pdfs online. HAH. i rock. i personify the cheap indian.

so there's lots of criticism about the book. it's written for tweens/teens and the english is too simple. edward is amazing, gorgeous, beautiful, statuesque, polished, strong, muscular, well spoken, intelligent, speaks 2462754 languages, cooks, cleans, drives and refuses to touch bella or have sex with her (and when he finally does, he chews of the headboard and she can't get enough of him hahah) etc and has become the benchmark for young, impressionable girls. so now an entire generation of teenagers who are going to look for a boyfriend like edward cullen are going to be sorely disappointed. i feel bad for them. this just adds on to the idealism that kids get from fairy tales about finding prince charming. there is no such thing as prince charming! he is a myth!

but you know what's worse? now all these girls will think it's okay to act like bella. she legitimises over dependency, constant emotional breakdowns, sexual urges, a penchant for self-pity and a unnecessary temper. UGH. god, i'm worried about turning into this spineless, whiny ball of goo.

it would seem that all H needs is a pair of amber contact lenses, a sports car, the ability to bribe an ivy league university for my post graduate education, a cottage on a private island, a mansion (that's it) and i'm floored.

wait.

2009-02-05T21:50:00.002+08:00

i realise that now that most of our time is spent waiting. you wait to give up your pencil and start using that pen, you wait for the bus to come pick you up, you wait for your exams to start and end, you wait for the results of your exams, you wait for the performance and then you wait for it to be over.

then you wait for people, you wait for the train, you wait to hear from employers, you keep waiting for the drivers license, you wait for graduation, and you wait for the first job, you wait for your parents to be proud of you, you wait for the right man to come along, you wait for that elusive happiness that evades you.

i'm tired of waiting. it seems that that's all i do.

davos joke

2009-02-03T08:52:00.001+08:00

what's the capital of iceland?

$25.

hahahhaha.

while driving

2009-01-31T16:34:00.002+08:00

i crash into unsuspecting people and walk into pillars and poles. i don't watch out for cars when i'm crossing the road. and i'm jumping up and down yelling give me that damn license you bastards!

this is what goes through my head during driving practicals -

signal check blindspot don't do a wide turning that's 2 points return change back to the left lane! don't go over 70 oh crap obstruction must change lane ah crap motorbike oh why can't the stupid fucker in manual car go above 20 km/h? stop at the stop line immediate failure shit yellow box u turn? die. keep right. why can't people be normal and use pedestrian crossings auntie don't run across the road like that ah pizza hut guy! don't go above 50km/h brake for the hump check your mirrors check your mirrors again oh keep checking the damn mirrors oh fuck pedestrian at zebra crossing sorry auntie. everything also immediate failure why? don't stop in zebra crossing. turn right not left get your directions right! take the right turning at the chinese temple not at the one afterwards if you get your test route wrong immediate failure test route 6 and 8 change lane early DON'T MOUNT KERB kena fail. hit kerb nehmind only 4 points.

anuja. will. pass.

i don't usually blog about such things

2009-01-26T11:24:00.002+08:00

med students and arts dum dums never get lucky. and i mean that in the damn you timetable clashes sense. last year during my exams he was relatively free, and now during his exam prep i am relatively free. drats. the only dates i have start with 'where shall we study today?' so sad, no? and when he's frolicking away in NZ (i want to do the milford sound trek, damn youuu) i'll be struggling with FYP and my final semester in NUS.

i've begun to see the joy in stolen moments of quick dinners and laughing over nothing and everything. happy birthday love, and let's hope chinese new year brings good luck to our schedules in the future (:

anger is not really a bad thing

2009-01-24T22:30:00.006+08:00

if you channel it to the right places. i, for instance, channel it into cleaning - i've cleaned my room. not majorly, but it's something i'd been putting off (amongst other things, like readings and serious ISM research but i started today! so that makes today the start of manymany things but i digress). my table, which i am supposedly to use for studying had piles of paper covering it so i was using that as an excuse for not being able to study at home. so i thought since i am angry, i might as well clean. now my room is relatively dust free, and the guilty laptop cable that poor granma tripped over is out of harm's way in my room so i can type essays AND do readings. and since i miss my KR room and hall and the people and most of all the freedom so much, i rearranged my furniture so that it'd resemble the hall fengshui so i can trick my brain every morning that when i wake up and trudge to the bathroom i'm going to see lishi typing out a lab report that was due 12 hours ago (: honeslty, i moved things around so the room would be neater - it was like playing tetris haha.

i am so prepared i actually armed myself with mortein to defend myself from attacking crazy cockroaches that might have nested in dark and dodgy corners of my room but thankfully there were none YAY. all my midnight snacking thank goodness didn't attract any friends (:

now i can legitimately hole myself up in my room, play loud unpleasant music and be anti social. i am going to be a REAL teenager!

so i had the most teenage conversation with my mother today. after she hung up on me twice (i now suspect she didn't know how to use the phone) we have a yelling match. it was great.

she: the next time you go for dinner with H's family you must tell me!
me: but i did! so what was the problem?
she: you don't tell me 10 minutes before!
me: i only find out 10 minutes before!
she: i am your mother you need to tell me things! i even found out about H from someone else!
(what does THAT have to do with ANYTHING?)
me: but i told you i wasn't in for dinner so what's the problem?
she: if you're going with the family you must tell me! it's different if you are having dinner in school!
(how many things wrong do you see in this logic? oh, the flaws. firstly, shouldn't it give her less psychobabble if i was with others? in school i could easily be doing dodgy things - which i am NOT - and over dinner i have to behave. which is the parents' preferred scenario you tell me? xiao)
me: why is it different? rationalise it for me.
(doing behavioural readings can really screw up your head, i tell you, when every other word is 'rational')
she: don't talk like your father.
(rule number 1 of parenting: never put down your spouse in front of the kids)
me: i need to understand, ma. if i don't understand i won't listen to you.
she: i am your mother! you listen to me!
me: why did you hang up on me?
she: i was in shock! you suddenly say you are going for dinner!
(i am confused. ok people need to eat. in shock? i didn't tell her that i missed my period, or that i have an STD or that i'm lesbian. AND only the third claim is remotely believable)

now i know why i'm so full of psychobabble. or why i am whacked, cuckoo, deranged, whatever. apparently in runs in the family wheeee. THIS is why i shouldn't have kids. yes? yes.

beautiful disaster

2009-01-12T22:09:00.001+08:00

i suck. i'll never get an interview right. at this rate, even if i get a job, i'll be blinking like a brainless bimbo.

at least i can still aliiterate. that's a consolation.

i don't think i am good at anything anymore. i hope tmr's meeting doesn't actually reveal what a dingbat i am.

and i've become SUCH a social recluse that i forget close friend's birthdays and i don't get invited to birthday parties, and don't ask me which direction the causation is :(

i've fucocked it up.

bigot

2009-01-06T18:39:00.006+08:00

i've been on too many flights this december and i think budget airway planes give me a backache. i cannot sleep in the sitting-in-a-chair position (unless i'm in lecture) so i curl up in all these dubious positions that result in unsuspecting kicks to the persons next to me. there was this hairy yindian guy next to me on the way back - my first thought was ashley cos of that vast amount of hair (= and he looked very miserable, to be seperated from his mother, i think.

i usually enjoy stays in india, but this time i just wanted to leave.

i think it was ironic that i begun reading shantaram on the way there. i started chapter 1 as the plane was taking off, with a smug attitude, that oh i've been there many times, i understand and appreciate the country but i'm still distant enough (being in singapore) not to be sucked into the system so i'm technically a foreigner but nor am i a native but i'm still culturally aware and somewhat experienced at the ways of india, giggling to myself at the foreigner perspective of certain expressions about india i take for granted as i started the 930 page book.

so there was i was, comfortable as i could be on a budget tiny seat, nestled with a massive book full of words about india, when the woman next to me asks me in as much english as she knows to fill up her immigration card for her. my first thought was, why can't she ask her husband who was right next to her? then i realised, that i'll always be a foreigner. i'll always impose my standards on india, that i'll never be able to surrender into the atmosphere like the protagonist in shantaram. but nor will i completely be able to be a tourist and impose my own occidental preconceived notions of what i think exotic india should be like. after that humble request from a woman who never had the chance for an english education, who probably wouldn't have a chance in the future to read a book about her own country written by a foreigner, i started seeing things from not an indian perspective. which was completely destabilising.

it began to irritate me that no one listened to one another. everyone had their opinions, and everyone's opinions were right. each individual is a politician, a doctor, whatever they decided they were an expert on. decisions took forever to make, and at the end nobody followed them. it annoyed me that talking to people was pointless cos nobody listened to anyone's voice but their own. i just shut up when my mother begun voicing my likes and dislikes and thoughts and decisions, as if she knew them all. the obvious manifestation of religiosity got on my nerves - a temple in every street corner and a prayer on every auto suddenly seemed overbearing. i judged people skipping work to go on pilgrimages. it went against every bit of the singaporean in me.

the patriarchy pissed me off. but i shall not start =)

the country is confused. it's as if its fighting to give itself an identity that results in a conflicting mess of ideals. it's stuck, culturally. it's as if there is an attempt to reclaim a certain 'indianness' (which is, of course, arguable) while embracing a capitalist, american identity. malls are springing up in unlikely places, and the contrast with the mall's surroundings is just painful. the malls also boast a permanent soundtrack of hit me baby one more time, i want it that way, and the vengaboys. it's a hip and cool place for youth (anyone who can squeeze into a pair of bell bottoms) to hang out and take pictures while wearing new clothes and sightadichify (according to my mother) and eat hot dogs and other various types of fast food. these youth wear 'western' clothes - too big checkered shirts and very flared bell bottoms, shades and a cocky swagger and too clean platform sport shoes - because that's kool. it disturbs me. it's the look of too many years ago.

at the same time, there are these beautiful contemporary designs for clothes, which are a delightful mix of old and new, tradition and fashion. it's another kind of identity that has been manufactured - but this identity is for export, not for local use. funny. so there's an exported identity of india to the west, and there's an imported identity into india, of the west. they don't coincide.

i don't think i could live there for an extended period of time. i need to drink water from the tap. (:

happy new year!

2009-01-01T17:12:00.002+08:00

it's been 17 hours into the new year and no longer do i feel a sense of excitement during the countdown. it's become oh-kay, one more year, one year older, more responsibilities, one more semester, somebody employ me NOW, whatthefuckamidoingwithmylife and not oh YAY it's the new year!

i know what indians do on the 1st day of the new year - stock up on groceries. i say this because i bumped into enough people (that i know) in mustafa today buying a lorryload of groceries with the father (who mocks my inability to find tissues by patronisingly asking me is this what you couldn't find? these are tissues right?) after buying cartons of milk, bottles of juice and a trolley full of veggies and fruits he is now convinced that the house was in a state of starvation after they left for india.

i just get this sense that 2009 is going to be pragmatic, even more than usual.

sons.

2008-12-07T23:58:00.001+08:00

isn't it vaguely ironic to wish a pregnant woman with sons, and even worse that she takes it as a compliment?

there shouldn't be exams for classes you actually enjoy

2008-11-26T21:00:00.002+08:00

cos if you like a class, it's likely that you paid attention, did all your assignments properly and it wasn't a chore. making you study for it takes the fun out of what you enjoyed learning. this is why i shouldn't have exams for my south asian and theatre classes, as well as topics.

i swear, i shall never take classes i like again. =(

grandma

2008-11-25T07:31:00.002+08:00

this morning my grandma tells me, i can't remember when i came here, i don't know what i'm doing here and i don't know how to get anywhere from here so take me with you when you go out okay?

sure, grandma, you want to do my topics exam for me? it might make as much sense to her as it does to me =( and mak might like her cos she's so cute haha.

closet mangamma

2008-11-15T22:10:00.005+08:00

so there i was, bobbing home to nee kattum selai and ilamai itho itho (the remix), jingling home with my kolusu, discussing post-exam jeanz plans and then Dubious Anjack Number 1 (out of 3) taps me on the shoulder and asks 'err...do you mind if i get to know you?'

and as a true social science student, i answer the question: 'yes, i mind!'

i'm wondering how the hell he knew that i am a closet mangamma?

the last supper

2008-11-14T07:17:00.002+08:00

i've started having morbid thought. blame the exams or the fact that this is the most unprepared i'll ever be =(

so i started wondering what i would want for my last meal. i want temple pongal, ghee filled and delicious; my mother's vadais with the tomato onion chutney and mint chutney; my MIL's tahu sambal (ohhh yea) and lassi from chella's.

i told my dad and he replied you must have been very hungry.

i told my mum and she said why don't you people like homecooked food anymore?

33 years

2008-11-09T18:24:00.002+08:00

in the morning:

mother: it's our anniversary today.
me: oh, congratulations. so many years! aren't you bored yet?
mother: *glares* no. we might be going out for dinner.

in the evening:

me: are you going out for dinner?
father: no, why? do you want us out of the house?
me: it's your anniversary!
father: oh ya.
me: and amma mentioned that you might be taking her out to dinner.
father: *panics* is it too late to ask?
me: she might be full from lunch and say no?
father: i'll ask.

i'm totally going to this man for marriage counselling and financial advise. lol.

zoom

2008-11-07T08:15:00.002+08:00

i passed my final theory! finally! theoretically, i can drive. what's more - theoretically, i can drive a manual car too! i theoretically know how to manouvre the accelerator and clutch to get its biting point and know how to use the engine brake and i know how to change gears. WOO.

just like theoretically, i by next may i should theoretically know how to run the singapore economy. HAHA.

BUT: i cannot book a test date cos there ar eonly 3 dates available and they are in january! and i don't know if i can finish by then. maybe just book and cheong? and if i do in jan (and hypothetically pass) the sooner i have to give up my rights as a damsel in distress and H will not longer volunteer to drive me around. tragic!

hmmm.

of babies and not.

2008-11-05T09:04:00.003+08:00

people are getting married, other people are having babies! motherhood, wow.

do you ever think about how you came into existence? and i don't mean the fun part. i mean you take it for granted that your mother gave birth to you. and you don't think about it until someone about your age has a child and it suddenly hits you that's what my mother had to go through? twice?

kudos to you, C. and V! god, i am so proud of you.

it's not pleasant. and to think it's a natural want for every woman to have a child. i'm beginning to think it's social conditioning. that women want to have children because in this patriarchal society the male gaze has instituted that it is the woman's role to have and rear children. and the whole it's such a beautiful process psychobabble is also a result of the male gaze, because women have always been validated as real women by men only after they have children. of course la, women are the ones who are able to have children, but i argue that it has become expected of us to want to have children. we want to have kids not because we want to, but because someone else wants us to.

ah well. i have a few years to ponder over this.

and you men complain about national service! and get more money because you dedicated 2 years of your life serving the nation (and get paid for it, even though it's minimal?) women have children! and do we get anything out of that? it's just from now that we get more maternity leave and more baby bonus - but it's all economically motivated. that singapore needs children for future sustainable growth and to build up its potential human capital.

being female SUCKS. i want to be culturally and socially androgynous.

it's britney, bitch

2008-10-28T21:49:00.002+08:00

i think everyone is secretly obsessed with britney. you may bitch about her, criticize her crazyness but at some level you are interested in what she is doing.

have you seen her new video? i think it's AWESOME. she looks good, just like she did in her virginal days (minus the clothes of course). as usual, the song is hate-at-first-listen but then it grows on you, and after watching the video you marvel at her come back and how well she dances and shakes her booty. she's BACK! in control. YAY. go britney!

her marketing team is fantastic. her dance choreo is wow. her kids must be so proud of her, no?

god, the song is stuck in my head. my webcast now sounds like so if you want to (womanizer woman-womanizer) minimize loss you (you you you are!) will choose an interest rate (womanizer womanizer) to influence...

you get the picture.

happy deepavali

2008-10-27T09:02:00.002+08:00

i don't know how to answer questions when someone asks me, how do you celebrate deepavali (well, especially this year). the typical deepavali would be going to the temple in the morning, lunch at the uncle's place and then we'd inadvertently get into a fight in the evening cos the mother will insist i attend a socially superficial 'party' with people i don't know. i will argue that i don't know these kids, while my mother will argue back that i should learn to socialise. really? going for these 'parties' simply reinforced my mother's subconscious insinuations that other people's children are better than her own kids. besides, i don't want to mix around with kids who talk like this: 'oHH my gawd, the play was soooo good and like, i like, almost came in my pants.' oh, really, good for you.

this deepavali is no different, only the yelling started much much earlier (: and as usual, i have assignments to do and worries about looming exams. great! it's a time for celebration!

happy deepavali, everyone! (:(: i actually do mean it okay.

oh yes, the next time my mother complains that any of us talk too much, i will try not to tell her that it's in the genes.

this is like a new toy!

2008-10-24T10:02:00.002+08:00

i keep playing around with the html. i have to stop. and i feel like blogging, for purely narcisstic reasons, so that i will think i am funny and laugh at myself.

so yesterday some dubious guy hit on me (it's a weekly affair) where he says insesitive and deragatory things and for some reason the i can only come back with snappy remarks that seem to make it worse. so i was telling H about it.

me: he hit on me again! do you know what he said? *rants*

H: are you trying to make me jealous?

me: *stunned* why. would i try to make you jealous. it's annoying. and traumatic. not flattering. and my pain is usually your entertainment.

H: cos girls usually say such things to make people jealous. but it's funny.

me: when someone hits on me and i don't mind it, i don't tell you.

H: you probably don't tell me that you flirt back as well, right?

how does he know! at least he doesn't beat me up about it (:

new!

2008-10-23T22:07:00.002+08:00

so i changed the layout (again). the previous one was too confusing. everytime i tried to edit the html something would screw up. and i fgured it was time to grow up (even if am in denial) and i thought i should get a template that wasn't designed by a 14 year old. i progressed to using the remplate of a 16 year old instead. (thank you felice in scgs who goes to church). that's growing up to me haha. and pink to purple is progress i say.

god, some kids are really talented in terms of designs! but some have very emo-nemo words that, i assume, are reflective of teenage angst and i like to think i have grown out of that phase. (: shut up, all of you.

anyway now i will feel like writing and reading my own blog cos i don't see an error message appear on the background. yay! (:

today i got accosted by a japanese christian woman who tried to sell me some ideology. it would have helped if her english was better. and after 9 weeks of SN3276 she tells me 'the bible is fact! the bible is scripture! the bible is a prophesy!' i'm like, sweetie, i don't think so.

in terms of timing, H and i are just plain unlucky. he disappears for a month from next week and when he finally emerges my exams start, and when he finally gets a break i will be in bangkok. great! awesome.

crabby

2008-10-05T18:13:00.002+08:00

i think women have every right to be difficult, irrational and illogical.

emotionally speaking, we have a uterus. we have monthly issues so that we can change our surnames and men can propagate their seed. we go through unnecessary pain. when i say pain i mean PAIN. and it's only men who say childbirth is a beautiful process. god, if it's so beautiful do it yourself. we suffer for YOU. allow us to be cranky and mean.

and scientifically speaking, it's the uterus that the main cause of our hormornes. that's what makes us unstable and illogical. we can't help it. be glad that the male hormorne makes you happy.

so, you know, if any woman is accused of being too emotional and cranky and whatever else, blame it on the need for man to reproduce.

we didn't ask for it, bastards.

when i just don't get it.

2008-10-01T00:42:00.002+08:00

me: let's go play badminton!

H: no cannot, shoulder problem.

me: =( i'm really good haha but i'll give you easy shots i promise.

H: no, i cannot do anything that involves an abduction.

me: but i didn't ask you to kidnap anybody!

H: *stunned*

talk english you medical students! grrr.

so

2008-09-21T09:26:00.003+08:00

on sunday morning, my humiliation of having failed bbdc's final theory evaluation (after having passing it TWICE but not being able to book a TP test) was pretty fresh, and so i was grouching around in the kitchen, convinced that at this rate i will never get a license and drive a damn car while trying to make my morning coffee and then i dropped the carton and spilt the milk.

my life is iritatingly metaphorical. UGH.

stuff

2008-09-14T08:45:00.004+08:00

i have friends as bimbos. i mean, like, bimbos as friends. like, whatever.

this proves it.

me (having intellectual conversation about scientific stuff) : IVF has a low rate of success and also so expensive!
J (very intelligent life science student) : and there's a higher risk of the baby being abnormal
me: oh really?
V (the bimbo): : how about test tube babies?

rightt. so speaks the one with the baby. apparently she has no clue about babies other than how to make them. hurhur.

later in the evening; deja vu.

me: i think he looks like, who's that guy, anna hathaway's boyfriend from the devil wears prada. so cute.
A: i don't know who that is.
me: adrian something.
A: i don't know who that is, but i think he looks like the entourage guy...
T: i think they're the same person?

on an unrelated note, i feel the love. it's been AGES since i had nothing dancy to do on weekends and this fri and sat have been awesome. =) it is tough trying to reclaim a social life. and now i know the hypothetical kids have scary aunt tabby, crazy auntie ashley and we'll tell them to stay away from pervy uncle kumar. and apparently i am stingy aunt anuja. HAH.

i've figured a few reasons why

2008-09-08T00:13:00.002+08:00

bharathantyam is bad for you. here is my economic analysis:

1. bharathanatyam and dark circles are highly positively correlated. due to the extensive amounts of eyeliner one wears for classes and the face paint that one is forced to wear during performances, it gives us panda eyes. and wrinkles. i have an inkling that the ingredients in pancake (the thing that makes us look like we have jaundice) can't be that good for the skin.

2. bharathanatyam and studying are mutually exclusive. today's perf was done with ohnomoneyandbankingtutorialshitkamasutrareadingfuckpsychometrictestcrapinterviewomgpublicpolicy challengediediedie instead of that thathin thaka tha in my head.

3. bharathanatyam in singapore has no economic benefits. it does not vale add to resumes. employers won't care two hoots about an arangetram.

4. bharathanatyam and hairfall also have a high positive correlation. gel, spray, crowns, fake hair, tight rubberbands, clips, more clips and even more clips all cause extensive amounts of hair fall. my dustbin currently is half full of hair.

5. going 2 days without eating proper meals, when both days are physically exhausting can't be good for the stomach.

6. it kills the knees. indian flabby stomachs + indian asses normally exert excess pressure on indian skinny knees and bharathanatyam makes it worse.

what have i been doing for the past 22 years? i should have been typically singaporean and joined ccas that would have given me recognition by the market, and gotten a scholarship to overseas and come back and dance every hoidays and get praised for my seasonal interest instead of juggling uni and weekly classes and performances and doing a slip shit job at everything.

angry little girls

2008-08-28T22:33:00.002+08:00

the last one is my favourite. hahaha. aren't they funny!
copy right of angrylittlegirls.com =) go check out the website they have crazybitch stuff.

rejection

2008-08-28T00:32:00.002+08:00

it's now officially time for others to judge your academic qualifications by 2 pages of your resume and your grades and the title you graduate with.

application deadlines are already nearing, and it's fucking scary. how am i supposed to write about your achievements and aspirations and why you want this job in less than 1000 characters?

i realise i am deathly afraid of applying in case i get rejected. it's like post A levels once more. when you receive no after no from others who judge you as capable or not.

i'm going to try anyway.

worst case scenario? no job, i'll live off my dad forever and ever. wheeee. i can be the spoilt brat that i'm assumed to be!

on identity

2008-08-22T10:14:00.002+08:00

so yesterday i rant in the car with the father about hinduism and the sastras, and the vedas and about how suddenly i feel as if the fundamentals which i have been brought up with are now shaky. i took this class to get a better understanding of my religion and instead i'm beginning to question it. well, i shouldn't jump to conclusions, i still have 13 weeks left for its credibility to come back.

i casually mentioned that i wished she was covering the natyasastra in class and to that he says why don't you ask her for an extract? actually you shouldn't, what if you lose faith in that too muahaha.

the father tells me this is why we should stop sending people to universities, they think too much. so says the man with a phD, married to another with a phD, no wonder this family is so wonderfully screwed up hahah.

anyway, if i had beene doing south asian studies, i know what my honours thesis would have been about. if i had been doing theatre studies, i know what my honours thesis would have been on. but no, i'm doing econs. i don't have a thesis (:

on taxis and children, separately

2008-08-20T08:51:00.005+08:00

i think this stingyness thing runs in my family. i know i either inherited or learnt it from my dad - when i was younger (like 11) and i told him that i was going to watch a movie with friends, he;d ask me how much a movie ticket was (then it was only $7, even on weekends) and give me exact change. for that reason i never liked asking my dad for money. but i suspect i'd do the same thing to my kids ahaha oh poor things. apparently even my grandma had the same frugal mentality. maybe having the varaprasad nose has something to do with it hmmm.

so i have this distate for taxis cos these bloody surcharges are everywhere! 35% peak hour surcharge, 50% midnight surcharge, then fuel tax and then $2 for something, $3 for something - sometimes even surcharges are greater than taxi fare itself. i haven't even started on ERP yet. it used to cost me $7.50 max to get to fine arts. it's gone up to 11 now. and when you get in a taxi, you're surprised with the extra surcharges that you have to unknowingly pay which makes you wonder why the hell did i take a taxi in the first place, couldn't i have been more responsible and not gotten up late and taken the bus instead?! anyway - i don't take taxis unless the situation calls for it.

i thought this was just me, until my mum come shome yesterday and says my god, $15 to get home from serangoon, this is ridiculous! thank god i work if not i'd feel so guilty about spending money on cabs.

HAH so it's not just me with my irrational fear of taxis. apparently it runs in the family.

so children. so lately there's been much discussion on children and why singapoeans don't have them and it was so important that it was in our NDR. this is my quick take on it (i've got lots of opinions but who cares for opinions nowadays):

having children is essentially a woman's choice. economically - if the country puts pressure on her to be productive and contribute to GDP, if there's pressure to do as well as everybody else, the opportunity cost of having kids is greater. we would have to give up too much to have a child. long working hours have become the norm, where's the time for kids? the continued emphasis on us about being productive units of labour has resulted in us not wanting to produce future productive units of labour. mutually exclusive. not going to work.

socially- if women have to take care of the household (since in our patriarchal society men apparently aren't ingrained ot help out), if women have to take care of their husbands (cos they need a lot of attention haha), if women have to manage their careers - on top of that i don't think we want the additional responsibility of managing a baby. i think we'd go crazy. seriously, it would help if men and women had shared domestic responsibility, shared childcaring responsibilities and then womwn can achieve this blasted 'work life balance' thingamajig that is the new buzzword thrown about lately.

men, you want kids? help your wife out. don't think that since you are a man it is not your place to do such things. sweep the floor. clean the toilet. and i don't mean paying someone else to do it. pick up the damn brush and scrub, you bastards! hahah. singapore, you want kids? cut the obsession for being the top in everything. that's not an incentive for a woman to give up a career to start a family.

okay verbal diarrhoea over.

all i really want

2008-08-15T11:05:00.002+08:00

i've figured out what i want:

1. involvement in bharathanatyam (classes plus performing)
2. involvement in theatre so the stage slut in me can be released
3. something to prove my 'economics-ness'
4. time to study to get good grades
5. time for the boy
6. socialising
7. sleep.

HOW!?! fuck.

it's not like i didn't try

2008-07-29T10:28:00.003+08:00

to be an economist. but i am failing miserably at being one. i try okay! i tell myself be brave and attempt 2 ISMs and things you are not good at. i tell myself statistics is important if you work hard enough at it i am sure you can scrape B plus. i tell myself attempt economics based public policy modules. and then what happens? supervisors say no, LKY gives me timetable clashes etc etc and what am i doing now?

singapore english language theatre and indian religious texts.

i really hope i can graduate on time. all hail unrestricted electives.

update: i really don't know why i plan so much when in the end my plans never work out =( planning is bad okay children!

my next semester sees me doing 4 level 4000 economics modules. how did that happen howhowHOW you tell me and i don't even know what one of them is about apparently it is up to the lecturer. i just hope that it isn't some micro economic modelling thing and then i will DIE. i checked up the prof online and apparently that is what he is good at. why are people with yale phDs good at what i am bad at!

my semester is doooomed. goodbye, world.

anuja varaprasad

RIP

lovingly, slowly, excruciatingly painfully strangled to death by economics (with which she had an unstable but somewhat romantic relationship with)

may she find equillibrium.

naughty nine year olds.

2008-07-28T12:30:00.002+08:00

every generation has its bastardized version of innocent songs. remember barney? apparently the purple dinosaur is still alive and scaring kids.

i heard this from a nine year old recently:

barney is a dinosaur from our imagination
stick a pretzel up his bum and watch his constipation

uh-huh.

today i am an indian man

2008-07-24T14:05:00.003+08:00

so today the boy cooked lunch for me today. i know right, so sweet! a somewhat italian version of mangga pachidi and sambar hahah. his mum now thinks i have reduced him to a woman.

i must say, awesome lunch. (:

anyway, since yindian boys have this expectation that women were born to cook for men, today i became an indian man.

but since i am an indian man i shall appear ungrateful, burp loudly, rub my belly, scratch my crotch, pull my pants over my beer belly, not help with the cleaning up, drink beer and watch soccer.

but seriously, thank you. i know after this everyone will want you, but you're mine okay not anjali's.

inspired by george micheal.

2008-07-18T10:40:00.003+08:00

faith. it's irrational. there's a reason why it's called belief without question. there's no basis for it - regardless of whether your faith is based on experience or just plain belief, there is no logical reason to believe. faith isn't restricted to religion, and since there's no religion superior to another, there's no distinction between the faith of one and another.

i'm not saying this with any one person in mind (really! usually people say this when they have one person in mind), but sometimes your faith is strengthened when you're around people whose faith is stronger than yours. and you think, she's going to be okay, and so am i.

reasons not to have kids.

2008-07-14T11:45:00.002+08:00

vahini is pregnant! i was in denial until i saw her yesterday and i couldn't believe it! i repeated a million times and i was like omg baby. and then i forgot and i did it all over again. you know vahini is pregnant? she's going to become a mother aaargh.

according to the dance teacher, he says that we all should follow her example. after graduating (with a marriageable degree) we should all get married and get pregnent immediately. that is what the proper woman should do. riiiiight. no.

i thought about. as an economist i did a cost benefit analysis and i decided there are many reasins why i shouldn't and won't have a kid.

1. pregnant women aren't allowed to drink coffee. apparently even after givng birth coffee is a nono. which means for the 9 months i will be asleep and once the kid is born i will be asleep. i will be a bad mother cos a sleeping mother is a bad mother.

2. i will think that folds of baby fat are fat and be convinced that it will turn into augustus gloop if i don't intervene and hence once the kid is able to crawl i will make it exercise so it will lose weight. my baby will be sexy. right.

3. i might forget that i have one. cos, you know, i have a very short attention span. i'm supposed to be at work now but i'm blog- oh look muffin!

4. i might give it to the mustafa dude in exchange for a number tag when i go shopping at mustafa. i might also forget to pick it up. going along the same lines, everytime i take an umbrella out of the house it never comes back and if i take the baby out it mightnot come back.

5. i fall sick SO easily and i's rather not the potential brat pass me any germs.

6. i like baby food. heinz, nestum, whatever. i might eat it all and forget about feeding the kid. and that's not a good thing. it might be good for number 2 (above) but number 2 is highly questionable.

7. in friends, joey tells rachel that her fingers will swell and never go down after pregnancy. i am gullible and will believe anything.

8. brazillian waxing is a 9 on the pain scale. labour is a 10. i know what a 9 feels like, seriously i'm not going to try a 10.

9. i am special. i need help. i don't think i should be trusted with a baby.

SEE. vahini, i am SO proud of you. =)

the reason why turtles are dying

2008-07-07T12:02:00.002+08:00

yesterday i was at cold storage and there was this Old Aunty lining up in front of me. her huge trolley was filled with things in plastic bags and i thought to myself, wow this Old Aunty must be so healthy since by logical conclusion things in plastic bags (the kind you pull off the roll and then try to open by rubbing but you end up rubbing the wrong side and you make a fool of your self while the person behind you who has been eyeing the capsicums standing behind you clears her throat then rolls her eyes plastic bags) are usually loose pay by kg fruits and vegetables. right?

wrong.

this Strange Old Aunty had put everything she bought in those plastic bags. some even in double plastic bags. the meat she had bought has already been wrapped but she had put 2 more over it. her already packaged kailan had it's own plastic prison. the cashier Not So Old and Strange Aunty had to remove the platic bag insulation before beeping them and then out it back again.

and when paying (finally!) Strange Old Aunty requested for more NTUC bags over the stuff she already had and asked three times for more plastic bags and Not So Old and Strange Aunty essentially threw it at her! i swear SOA goes to cold storage to hoard plastic bags.

i tell you, this is the reason that too much plastic gets disposed into lakes and seas and chokes turtles (i know it's far fetched but i bet there's a logical conclusion. i should do PR cos i am good at exaggerating and over dramatising haha.

these Plastic Bag Hoarders! they are a menace! and they are dubious. what do they do with so many plastic bags! why do they need so many plastic bags! some soci student hurry up and do a study. i want to know. i neeeed to know.

those days when i used to be a student

2008-06-22T19:11:00.001+08:00

i miss being a student :(

why nihara and i should get married

2008-06-07T20:33:00.002+08:00

so we've already been living together and i figure we might as well be married. seriously! we already have a morning routine going on, we have a routine to get home from work together, we have a routine when we come home from work.

and we watch tv together like an old couple that has run out of things to say to each other, and we sleep on seperate beds as if the sex life is totally over.

nihara is a self-proclaimed man in the relationship apparently, for the following reasons:

1. i have bogger boobs
2. when we hug, she's an entire head taller than me
3. i do the cooking, she does the cleaning.

but, at night, i'm reading a book while she's smearing herself with cucumber melon st ives moisturiser and she smells yummy and that's when the gender roles get confused hahah.

and marriage is great, cos there's constant companionship, it's awesome having a pseudo husband of a nihara to come home to to tell you what retarded things happened at work. and it's also great when she wears the same shoe size as i do and she has an entire box full of shoes and i have like 5 pairs and isn't this such a mutually beneficial marriage?

PLUS she knows all the words to madonna's old songs and no one else does.

this couldn't be any more perfect!

cringeworthy

2008-06-03T11:51:00.004+08:00

i'm sorry to do this, but this is essentially what my life has revolved around the past 2 years.

the economists' pick up like:

if you were an indifference curve, i'd totally get tangetial with you. your edgeworth box or mine?

ok i'm done.

help!

2008-06-01T15:11:00.002+08:00

so i start work tmr. nervous! i'm scared that i will screw up on my first day. i got the clothes - bought sale things yesterday and spent half of my prospective pay check - and then realised that i had not heard of 'formal shoes' so had to get some. my wardrobe is too colourful, and my no slip grip $6 nus flipflops won't do in the workplace apparently.

digress: who decided that formal shoes for women = heels? was that person lesbian and got jilted by her lover on her wedding day and thus decided to curse all working women with uncomfortable shoes and blistered feet? why can't we simply wear flip flops and lounge around? i whined to ni and she says i must get used to wearing heels and ballet pumps even if they blister the feet and, look, she says, my feet are already hardened from years of blistering.

anyway! tell me! is it normal not to know anything when you start work? cos that's how i feel like. i even borrowed a using eviews for undergraduate econometrics from the library in case i have to do hideous econometric analysis which i did not pay attention to in EC3304. argh. HOW.

wish me luck.

hypothetically speaking

2008-04-30T12:11:00.002+08:00

if an economist-serial killer were to hunt me down and put a knife to my throat and threaten me with 'differentiate or die!' i might just die.

hai.

fashion

2008-04-28T13:51:00.002+08:00

just like how people started doing yoga because it was fashionable to wear tight stretchy things for a good reason and look good, just like how being gay became cool, just like how celebrities decided to start having babies at the same time - the latest fashionis fag breaks.

it's as if there's a non-acceptance of studying. as if it's uncool to study so how about i make up for the apparent nerdyness by going for a fag break? and no, it's not just restricted to the individual. fag breaks require you to canvass the support of every other smoking male or female to go out and participate in the filthy habit with you. even better - if you don't have your own cigarettes (cos you're a cheap indian) but you're addicted and you need those packaged tar sticks, mass smoke breaks are great cos then you can take them off others. and you can rotate who you take them from so no one will find out your sneaky plan (ya right).

and of course, fag breaks are great for gossiping about women, men, yesterday's conquets etc etc. thanks for doing that loudly.

oh but please, find another spot? there's a camera, if you didn't know.

!?!!?!??!?!

2008-04-19T14:30:00.002+08:00

in my stats notes:

a stochastic process is a process with a stochastic trend.
if a stochastic process is not stationary, then it is said to be nonstationary.

i don't know, you tell me.

as i ponder my meaningless existence

2008-04-18T00:19:00.002+08:00

it's about a week to exams and i am stressed.

i cannot seem to remember ANYTHING. seriously. my memory has taken a vacation to, um, i can't remember where.

i started wondering why i decided to attempt economics in university. i have concluded that it is to up my marriageable worth.

if i had done engineering, or law, or medicine, i would be considered intruding into a man's world. and no man wants a woman who is smarter than him, right? well, if we restrict this discussion to solely indian men, this is very true. indian men need to feel superior, that they are better than their women so that their egos can be pacified.

so being in a 'man's field' would hence render me unmarriageable. so i'm in arts. but men, at the same time, do not want an arts dum dum as their future wife! they have a reputation to uphold, am i right? they will not want their friends to judge them if they happen to get together with an airhead. that would be a blow to their massive egos.

so the girl has to have a balance of intelligence and stupidity - she cannot be smart enough (i.e as intelligent as the man) but she cannot be stupid either.

so, yes, econs. in arts, it is the most revered major for its toughness and the amount of work it requires. at least in nus la. admit it, you need some brains to attempt the mathematical approach that the uni takes. everyone wants good grades. everyone is smart (but of course not as smart as engineers/lawters/doctors). so relatively speaking, econs is a good major to take to give you the right balance (or equillibrium, as economists would say) because it reflects that you have some amount of intelligence but you aren't that smart that you will intimidate your man.

right? right.

marry me! *giggles and twirls hair, and furiously scribbles econs/math formulas at the same time*

overexposure

2008-04-10T22:17:00.001+08:00

you know that it's getting to you when you're listening to the radio to some DJ promoting some event and he says FOC and the first thing that comes to mind is why he is talking about first order conditions?

gah. die micro DIE.

goodbye gopal

2008-04-06T10:21:00.003+08:00

so after the perfunctory i have landed safely don't worry sms, the next one is can you help me check the score for arsenal vs liverpool yesterday?

eurgh. boys.

all i had to do was yell out the question in the car and i had 4 boys yelling 1-1!

eurgh. boys.

the economics of marriage

2008-04-01T22:02:00.003+08:00

the economist sense of humour:

do you, principal, take this agent to give you the maximum expected utility possible under your budget constraints and bilateral asymmetric information, through diminishing marginal returns, accepting the risk of adverse selection, tolerating moral hazrd, assuming stable preferences, in a good state and bad, until the long run when you are dead?

survival guide to the national university of stairs

2008-03-26T11:34:00.004+08:00

1. comfortable shoes. you do not want to be running back and forth from lecture to tutorial from arts to science in toe pinching balance losing shoes. the status of social pariah will be genereously awarded to you if you trip and fall and do other similar embarrassing things

2. a multi plug point adapter thing. there is constant competition for plug points everywhere in the university and if you miraculously find an unused one, most likely it will be broken. bring a multi plug pin while wearing a low cut cleavage revealing outfit to the library so you can seduce other resident nerds and convince them to share their power socket with you. and then you bend low and flash your multi plug at him.

3. earphones. it is imperative that one must be as anti-social as others around you. and it helps to listen to something to block out stressed people who sing along out loud to their ipods.

4. a few kind words for the photocopying machine. it is alive. it knows when you are short of time, and it will definitely give you a paper jam when you don't need it. speak to it kindly and sweetly and be nice to you in times of massive photocopying.

5. gloves, scarf, boots, leggings, jackets. whatever you need to keep you warm in lecture theatres and libraries. of course, make sure underneath you are skimpily dressed in a pair of tiny denim shorts and a shirt that says 'i lost my number, can i have yours?' across the chest so that you will blend in in arts when you are out of aircon. if you are in any other uncool faculty, wear to school whatever you wore to bed, and make sure you layer up in lessons.

6. shortcuts! know all the shortcuts. do not follow the signs. signs take you in circles around the university.

7. do not bring money with you when you go to the forum. by the time you walk out of it, you would have bought yourself overprices earrings, something pretty but unnecessary to beautify your laptop, clothes, slippers, books etc.

8. a glare. for everyone. an especially ferocious one for irritating couples walking around campus.

9. a lorry to carry the semester's worth of readings and textbooks.

10. intelligent friends. what would yoy do without them, right?

11. creating a good relationship between you and ISB drivers. they are the most powerful people in the university.

randoms

2008-03-25T10:12:00.002+08:00

1. i was psyching myself up to start a 20 page paper so to feel like the document had something i wrote the usual name-matric number-module code on top of the page. but instead of typing EC4101, i typed EC$!)! which to me sounds that much more honest about my feelings toward the class.

2. there should be an NUS People Watchers Association.

3. counselling services should be provided for people who suffer from Acute Exchange WIthdrawal Symptoms and Hall Withdrawal Symptoms. as AEWS and HWS can cause serious psychological damage if left untreated, the least you could do is freeze our grades. freeze them you uncaring bougeoise!

...

2008-03-20T10:56:00.002+08:00

'i heard her performance went very well. do you know she's doing theatre studies in NUS?'

'yes ma, i know. honours.'

'wow, very good.'

'i could have, you know.'

'anuja, everyone has their strengths and weaknesses.'

have you ever considered that your great plan of daughter number one becoming a lawyer and daughter number 2 becoming a doctor/engineer/financial consultant may be infallible?

i can't even do econs honours level modules. what makes you think i'm even vaguely good at this subject? what do you know about the academic environment that i am going crazy in? what do you know about what's making me so irritable lately?

btw, i listen to you. my silence doesn't mean that i agree with all that you have to say.

navarasas 1101

2008-03-15T23:11:00.004+08:00

so. after an entire week of up to 2 practices a day, the day has arrived (along with a cold gah so sucky). i have decided that with my years of experience and an infinite number of stage performances where my dancing is perfect and my emotions oh SO natural, it is only right that i come up with my own bhararathanatyam theories, especially on the 9 rasas. who needs traditional theory anymore? here's my version. throughout the varnam, i am supposed to depict 9 emotions, and here's MY interpretation:

1. shit, wrongwrongwrong!
2. ok anuja, swallow that burp. be inconspicuous.
3. FUCK my knee!
4. what's next eh. die.
5. stitch! wtf not now!
6. this has to end NOW. i resign. from living.
7. muscle-fucking-cramp
8. damn this hot stage.
9. waterrrrrr. nowwwwww.

i should like, totally write a book.

and looking at dramafeste pictures makes me sad :(:( hope it went well lovelies.

post performance comment: i totally mastered the above. now to figure out the actual navarasas which i mangled haha.

econometrics and itches.

2008-03-14T14:12:00.003+08:00

i now know why they taught us the albhabet in primary school. it's so that we can suffer through econometrics when we grow up. oh, the joy of it all. i now see B, X, P, M, Y, U and now Z in all my econometrics lecture notes. i couldn't be more grateful for being taught the alphabet. of course, we can't forget the letter d, without which we cannot differentiate.

do you know what extreme helplessness is? when you've got our wallet tucked under one arm, and you are precariously attempting to balance hot milo and a sandwich without trying to drop the sandwich or spill the milo or burn yourself and suddenly you have an itch on your head but you have no hands to scratch it.

subconscious.

2008-03-09T10:09:00.002+08:00

you don't realise how much you've been focusing on something until it starts appearing in your subconscious.

like this practising for my econometrics exam. i was doing a reading and i came across a citation with roman numerals (full of Xs) and i freaked out cos i thought it was a matrix. i actually had a jolt. it was definitely fear. hahah

and when boss lady comes home and starts yelling at the maid, the first thing that comes to mind is how to work on the 8th rasa in my varnam (which is anger). i'm wondering why i'm thinking about such things in the shower when 'lather rinse repeat' should be singing in my head and i realise it's cos i can hear the yelling through the walls.

ack! i'm so weird. just like you ash (:

in other news i think my mother's bhagvad gita classes are pointless. how can you come home after 2 hours of gita recitation and analysis and the first thing you do is yell at the maid and lose patience with your mother-in-law?

dedication

2008-03-03T10:40:00.002+08:00

i have a nagging feeling that academically this semester is going to be disappointing. it's halfway through the sem and even with my paying attention and taking copious notes i still feel like i haven't learnt ANYTHING since the start of the sem.

i remember watching this malay horror movie on tv12 (ooh those were the days of tv 12! and SBC!) and this woman-creature-thing was devouring a lot of meat and whatever she ate would fall out of the back of her head. they showed it in graphic detail. it was kinda gross. and scary. and i slept in my parents room that night. anyway, i digress. my studying seems to be just like that. my head is porous! i am pedantic! right puja? hahhaa

i think its dedication when you wake up at 7 30 to practice dance even when you are cramping so badly and are generally tired. and you still go for class later where you know it is going to be exhausting to dance. and think.

i don't know if i deserve to have canceled saturday night's class, and i now the mother wants me to cancel tuesday's class. ahh choices! now i keep thinking of the facebook group 'sorry, i can't, i have dance' and i realise my entire life has been giving up something else for dance. my priorities have changed, i don't know if i am comfortable with that. issues! :(

the next 2 weeks are going to be insane.

cramps cramps go away!

overheard

2008-02-18T08:26:00.002+08:00

'yes, they are looking for a nice girl from a nice family. so i thought of _____. and the boy is also nice and so is the family.'

what is nice! if someone was nice i wouldn't want them. nice is generic. it could be anything. it is dubiously general.

so nice is a marriage criteria. like that everybody is also nice. why don't we all draw lots and pick future partners?

now you can divide eligible (read: unmarried) people into 2 categories: nice and not nice. and you can get the nice people to pick from the nice lot and the not nice people to pick from the not nice lot.

tadaa! the world is in balance again.

happy VD

2008-02-15T11:20:00.001+08:00

valentines' day of course. otherwise known as Snog In Public Day.

apparently this week is also International Flirting Week.
it is also International Use a Condom Week.

i don't think there's any reason as to why they coincide. do you?

open letter to the parentals

2008-02-11T21:07:00.000+08:00

dearest daddy,

if we dress like how you insist we do, i predict your kids will end up as nuns and devote their lives to the lord and our saviour fill in the blank with whatever catches your fancy. which means we will be forever virgins and will not give you any grandchildren who will be the pride and joy during your retirement years.

mother dearest,

when you go to one daughter and tell her don't tell your sister that i asked you this, the first thought that runs through her mind is i am going to tell my sister whatever you are going to ask me. when will you learn!

love,
A

ps: i have found a fantastic solution to predicted parenting problems: never have kids. duh.

and counting

2008-02-10T22:00:00.000+08:00

my alcohol tolerance might have improved after exchange, but my maximum vadai intake has dropped sharply since. it is ridiculous! when i was younger i used to gobble about 8 or 9 temple vadais (the temple ones are the BEST, you can solve the world's oil crisis with them) and STILL have space for the banana leaf dinner.

but today, after number 5, i was stuffed. and i struggled to finish the delicious ponggal and the puliyotharai. only 5! that is disgraceful. about 10 years ago i could have 14 pooris at one go.

and i had good reason to have those 5.

number one was because i smelt them and i had to have them.

number 2 was because i was scared that if i waited there would be no more vadais left, after round 1 and 2 of giving vadais to other people. legitimate fear okay!

number three involved my strict don't waste food policy (otherwise known as anuja is a receptacle) i couldn't see one of the monkeys not eating his vadai so i volunteered to eat it.

number 4 was the most legitimate vadai of all, it was served on to my leaf and how can i NOT eat it!

number 5 - couldn't be helped. someone left the entire vadai paathiram in front of me and without thinking my hand reached out and grabbed one. and the chutney got refilled so i just had to take the fifth so that i could enjoy that right?

i am so stuffed. seriously. i swear i will wake up as a vadai tmr morning.

when i don't feel like doing anything productive

2008-02-09T01:47:00.000+08:00

i think about kent ridge and exchange. it's painful. i miss the personality that used to exist in her first 2 years of university, and that danced for a fleeting 3 months. i miss her. being back has made me bleak and tired.

life is being sucked out of me and i don't like it. this country makes me high strung.

i refuse to get depressed over this.

on the good side, i like this vaguely more confident, independent and adventurous character that has emerged. i hope she lasts.

white

2008-02-03T18:18:00.001+08:00

i now know that you don't wear white when you volunteer to help with some cooking. that involves different types of chili in all dishes.

i also know now that you don't wear white in the case that the chocolate fondue machine is switched on. and there's a lot of chocolate. and there are 4 rowdy boys and 1 messy eater (me, btw) who are overenthusiastic about chocolate and will go to any lengths to camp by the fondue machine stuffing ourselves with s'mores and bananas and apples and did i mention chocolate?

you get chocolate all over the table and all over the chairs. and over my dress.

argh.

three cheers to clorox!

let me go

2008-01-23T10:44:00.000+08:00

after 2 1/2 years of not needing to be accountable for every single action of mine it has become unbearable that now, when i'm older, i am suddenly forced to do so. the angel tells me it's for your own good while the devil snorts oh fuck off.

ah the guilt and confusion.

let us go. if we fuck up now it is not your fault.

today is just not my day.

2008-01-22T22:56:00.000+08:00

seriously. first an 8 am class (which is inhuman) where the prof is apparently russian but sounds french-filippino-boratian.

and then a 12 to 2 where a fucking caterpillar decides to take a stroll on my sleeve what the fuck! during lecture and i can't even scream cos i was so freaked out and the stupid thing couldn't fucking decide where to crawl. it was having a mental debate on whether it should crawl under anuja's chair or behind anuja's chair and it played bloody mind games with me. until i lost sight of it trying to pay attention in political science and that was infinitely WORSE than knowing where it was.

and then i went for a class that i didn't want to go for (i decided to give it a chance) and now i really know that i don't want to go for it. after an excruciating 3 fucking hours of a basic macroeconomic lecture (revisiting GDP, GNP, GNI, solow etc etc) where my only distraction was attempting to plan out the replacement module that i could possibly take and debating whether or not to run away with a mac press powder someone had forgotten.

during which my mother calls me and yells at me asking me where i am so late at night, after i've told her 24876832 times that i have a class from 6.30 to 9.30pm and she still forgets and yells at me for no reason. i am so irritated.

i might possibly have an ISM topic though. hmmm we'll see.

okay i am going to spend the night sending emails to whoever i can and finishing up overdue internship applications and a whole bunch of other stuff.

the highlight of the day was going to the science library (see that's how BAD my day was) and seeing Eye Candy. yay!

omg, they are, like, so totally, like, cute!

2008-01-14T09:50:00.000+08:00

so i don't usually gush about them men, but i've had secret crushes on certain men which i would like to make Not So Secret.

this guy: the adorable boyfriend in devil wears prada. with those endearing eyes and puppy dog looks he gives anne hathaway. oooh i vant i vant! in certain angles he's got the fes look going on which isn't that attractive but i think he is sexyyy.

he doesn't look too good without all that scruff though. maybe i just like his hair. cos it looks suspiciously like mine but i just look like a hairball while he has money to pay stylists to make his hair look normal. and i am living life through him. hmm. ahhh i want to squish him! and then give him a bath, feed him milk and cookies and then read him a book. can i? mommy please, can i?

then this one's a different matter. james! my little james! why did i not know he existed? hairspray! and enchanted. he was such a hilarious prince. he looks good trapesing around in purple tights can! and he's in in 27 dresses which is apparently not very good but it's got katherine as well! katherine and james! what a delightful combination. heehee. and he's got tanlines how sexy is that!

(: i want to be saved from a herd of stampeding giraffes by james! and then once he is mine i will order him to sing hairspray songs. oooh.

CORS

2008-01-11T00:05:00.000+08:00

so everything's sorted out, turns out that i am only doing 2 out of the 5 modules that i had initially planned to do. but that's okay, CORS is a very efficient system that teaches you many valuable life lessons. such as:

1. how to control your temper
2. the vast number of swear words that exist in your head that you didn't know were incapable of coming out of your mouth
3. multi-tasking: collecting random bits of information from a gazillion university websites at a go. like the usp, fass, cors, econs, module information, latest bidding info all at once
4. it's a fantastic real life application of cost benefit analysis
5. sometimes when cors fucks you over you go down to the campus to sort things out and that's great exercise climbing all those stairs and running from one department to another and we all know that exercise is good for you
6. the grass is greener on the other side: NTU maybe in some ulu corner of singapore but students are possibly less frazzled and like their university better
7. how you should have listened to your mother and taken a professional degree (like law or medicine) where you are not subjected to stressful bidding procedures
8. it teaches you to apply economics concepts to a bidding system. like how demand does not meet supply because it is a short run exercise. it doesn't matter what happens in the long run because we are all dead. thank you, keynes.

in other news, i have a very interesting spread of modules this semester:

PS1101: intro to PS
TS2237: acting theory and practice
EC3304: econometrics II
EC4101: microeconomic analysis III
PP5250: some LKY module

interesting eh? i bet no one else has 5 modules of all the possible levels. and i am most scared of PS1101e. i need to hire a PS major to write my essays haha (:

plus on wednesdays i need to get from kent ridge to bukit timah in 10 minutes. wargh.

oh yes, i need to publicly congratulate vasud for actually using my very lame but funny pick up line (hi, my name is charity, would you like to donate?) on Random Cute Ang Moh Boy. he was cuteness! but anyhoo it doesn't matter now that we made absolute fools of ourselves, esp vas. but thanks muchly vas. i am proud of you (: and now i know how to use a credit card. HAHA.

this is what i feel like

2007-12-12T10:54:00.000+08:00

whine.

2007-12-11T11:26:00.000+08:00

hey i'm allowed to whine.

i'm sick, down with a virus (i don't know how the heck that happened) and i have final exams in 2 days, my head fucking hurts along with the rest of my body, i have an essay due wednesday, i miss home (mommy where are you when i need you! hahah) and i can't take any medicine. for the first time i'm pissed at my gazillion allergies.

i skipped a review session for a class that i am possibly going to fail to come home and sleep. so now i really am going to fail it. wargh.

all i wanna do is watch tv and sleep.

and my phone is running out of credit. i have no energy to go to a store and refill it right now. fuck.

graduate from the school of wiki, www.

2007-12-06T07:23:00.000+08:00

you know you have a bad TA when you ask her a question she tells you to go read wikipedia. i now know what references she'll be using for her phd thesis.

myspace

2007-12-06T03:18:00.000+08:00

so twice a week i have an hour break between classes. and the weather's usually good (good meaning the sun shines and i only need 2 layers, shoes and socks) and the campus is so pretty! and sitting inside a concrete building is just depressing because it is cold and i am surrounded by grouchy people who huff a lot and the vending machines always looks appealing (resist anuja, resist!) and sometimes if i am unlucky i end up sitting next to a weirdo who has a conversation with her computer (i swear she yelled i didn't do anything what do you want from me and went to sleep, she was SO dubious).

so i choose to sit outside, and bask in the sun on autumn leaves covered benches and what do i find last week? this couple making out. ARGH. that's my space go away icky people! who makes out on campus? and at 11 o'clock in the morning? is it normal for people to get horny so early in the morning? why aren't they sleepy and grouchy like me!

so today i get there early and i find my bench not taken and i did a little skip for joy. but my happiness was shortlived. in a while the couple in question made their grand appearance and for the past 20 minutes have been very happy people. they've been joined at the hip, at the lip and are making happy noises.

argh the giggling i can't take it make it stop make them stop!

i shall go make my own happy noises and get myself something extremely unhealthy but oh so delicious to eat.

qualities of a dancer

2007-12-04T23:19:00.001+08:00

so i was hoping that google would suddenly throw out an essay topic for my 8 page paper which is due very very soon but is unstarted due to various reasons and this is what i found. apparently the natya shastra says this:

According to Abhinayadarpanam, one of the two most authoritative texts on Bharata natyam, a patra must be

young,
slender,
beautiful,
large-eyed,
with well-rounded breasts,
self-confident,
witty,
pleasing,
capable of keeping time (following the rhythm)
splendidly dressed
of a happy disposition.

The ten disqualifying criteria according to Abhinayadarpanam:

white specks in the apple of the eye
scanty hair
thick lips
pendant breasts
being either very fat or
very thin,
being either very tall or
very short
being hunch-backed
being either voiceless.

hahaahahahahahhaa. isn't that just great? notice they don't have any requirements for men.

this is what i'd like to see for male dancers:

1. sparse chest hair. no forest like body is allowed.
2. no beer belly
3. a 6 pack.
4. a full head of hair, but not too much either. otherwise you might be mistaken for a women.
5. cannot socialise with other men
6. no man boobs
7. some amount of biceps would be good
8. cannot look like a frog

AH the gender bias of this great text!

library

2007-11-22T10:52:00.000+08:00

me: would you by any chance know what's the limit for the number of books we can borrow out of the library?
maria: err, NO. i don't go to the library.

me: do you know how many books we can borrow from the library?
owen: no.
me: argh! why doesn't anybody know!
owen: because nobody borrows that many books at a go?

me: can i just ask how many books we're allowed to borrow at a time?
librarian: are you an undergraduate?
me: yea?
she: oh, about 300. *smile*

ARGH. NUS only lets us take out 4! or is it 8! i've never heard of a library that lets you take out 300 hundred books. i think the disincentive to borrowing is the fact that you seriously have to HUNT for books here. they're all tucked away in various nooks and crannies. but it's nice, it is (:

things my mother would never believe of me but will be glad to know.

2007-11-16T02:26:00.000+08:00

1. i eat cashew nuts. i now know how expensive they are and i now know that they taste good. and they have fat content.

2. i wake up everyday from between 6 and 7 to study. on days i sleep past 3 i wake just after 8. after 9 and i am unproductive the whole day.

3. i voluntarily clean. i do the dishes, i sweep and vacuum floors.

4. i fold my clothes after doing laundry.

5. i do not throw my clothes on the floor (i just hang it in a vaguely disorderly way on the bedpost)

6. i can cook. with enough variety to satisfy my appetite.

7. spinach is not that bad after all.

8. fruits ARE good for you. so i eat them.

the most intelligent sentence i heard all day

2007-11-16T00:42:00.000+08:00

'and she was like, you know, like, i don't know...'

people actually talk like this! i'm thinking if you don't know and your friend knows why don't you just ask your friend what she was LIKE.

game theory

2007-11-15T13:53:00.001+08:00

it's everywhere. after a concentrated encounter with game theory (and the professor) over the summer and encountering it in random econ classes everywhere (even anthro classes for that matter, it has now decided to live with me.

doing the dishes, cleaning the toilet, vacuuming the floor, taking out the trash - are all game theoretic scenarios. you know it has to be done, but you don't want to do it. you'd rather someone else do it. then the waiting begins. the dishes are left in the dish washer for someone else to put away, the coffee stain has to be cleaned but by someone else, the kitchen has to be swept but you don't wanna be the one to do it, the dishes pile up in the sink but of course someone else will clean them up.

you wait. until one person breaks.

the floor's been swept, the dishes done, the clean ones put away.
i think i'll vacuum the carpet friday. it's filthy.

deepavali

2007-11-13T00:31:00.000+08:00

2 weeks before deepavali, i thought wth i'm in the states, i shd do something vaguely deepavali-ish but not bother too much. then the week of deepavali it slipped my mind that i had something to celebrate because of horrid horrid exams. but when the weekend hit, it was wonderful.

i am surrounded by such awesome people. prayers, food, the company! and dancing! it was so fun (: and i ATE. i don't think even in singapore i'd have eaten this much. i popped sweet after sweet, practically licked a bowl of some sweet creamy thing clean. and i usually don't even like sweets.

i missed my mum's vadais, though. no one can beat that hahah.

and at first i thought wth, i'll have deepavali with the family again and then i realised that it was essentially the last deepavali in that house! i'll never have another deepavali in 42 grove drive.

i think my mum was terrified that i'd have a sad and lonesome deepavali all by myself in another country. i don't think so. it was SUCH a memorable weekend. i'll definitely remember this deepavali.

and last year's too, of course. (:

good and bad

2007-11-02T12:13:00.001+08:00

so i rant about the double-standardness of indian men.

do you know there are 2 categories of indian women? the good (the ones you marry and bring home to your mothers and will make perfect daughters-in-law as well as deepavali palagaarams) and then you have the bad (the ones you want to date for fun but know that there's no future but what the hell it's fun).

let's talk about the bad. the bad have certain characteristics:

1. wear short skirts and shoulder revealing tops to school
2. put scandalous pictures up on facebook:
a. with other men, albeit platonic.
b. carrying a bottle of beer
c. carrying shot glasses
d. in swimwear
e. pictures of happiness taken in clubs
3. use vulgarities
4. go clubbing
5. drink, talk drunk stories
6. study abroad (india not counted
7. have had more than 1 relationship before 21

i don't think ANY of us are marriageable anymore. tragic.

the random and the beautiful

2007-10-30T10:25:00.001+08:00

20 credits

2007-10-28T12:17:00.000+08:00

is crazy. being on exchange and needing to study and have fun while making sure you're on par with work and stuff - suddenly now there's greater opportunity cost to having fun, and when it comes to studying diminishing marginal returns set in very quickly. GAH.

keep holding on

2007-10-25T16:08:00.001+08:00

amazing what a dance can do to make you like an avril lavigne song. if i wanted to learn something, it'd be this. (:

sometimes

2007-10-25T15:58:00.001+08:00

don't you think it's not about how well you do, but about how badly others do? that's just sad. it's as if how much you know doesn't matter anymore, but how little others know that counts.

weird.

things to do

2007-10-23T00:30:00.000+08:00

1. do the dishes
2. do laundry
3. clean the bathroom
4. scrub the toilet
5. do an exam

i'd rather do 4 than 5 anyday.

this week is a prelude to hell week. YEAH.

of SIAs and ABCDs.

2007-10-20T14:02:00.000+08:00

i know why the SIA scholars look at the singaporean indians funny. it's the same reason i look at the ABCDs funny.

my econ anthro class is seriously driving me mad. i think marx's materialistic world view might be more prominent than weber's idealist standpoint in this case.

inspired from economic theory

2007-10-18T23:34:00.001+08:00

after studying marx and smith and weber i thought i shd take a break before attempting to decipher becker and look what my youtube surfing came up with. hahaha. i love this! how apt.

yosemite

2007-10-15T13:18:00.001+08:00

so we did our first trip out of davis, and went to yosemite! the weather was perfect, camping was a test and i couldn't feel my fingers in the morning. other than that i polished off the cylinder of chips and 1 1/2 bars of chocolate. do you know how good chocolate tastes when it's cold or when you've been walking for hours or when your feet hurt? AWESOME.

that's a very big slab of granite. it might be el capitan. then again it may not. but it's fall look at the colours!

random little kid.

there's geri looking like lara croft. after this we attempted to tale a gazillion other angelina joli pictures.

nevada falls. the falls that appa and i (okay just i) were too lazy to climb up to the last time.

our first van. sherilyn, tina, yuko, chiai and another jap girl whose name i can't remember. and danny. LOOK at him. doesn't he look like a younger version of hue laurie i.e house? it's freaky.

hetchy hetchy. it's fgorgeous. but when trying not to fall and make a fool of yourself as well as trying to keep up with everybody else you focus on the floor and you don't notice the beauty surrounding you.

the bimbos from singapore. manjan girls! prospective husband alert. he's is the sweetesttt.

there's yoshi (who taught me foul words in japanese) and rodriguez (who taught me foul words in spanish), the japanese babes. sherilyn is one of them.

bairam, the german turkish guy who doesn't eat carbs (only on thursdays apparently) but drinks like a fish and is great at making camp fires. i tried to tempt him into eating an oreo but it ended with him telling me how many calories it had and i got depressed and i ate it.

i love this picture.

yosemite is fantastic, even going a 2nd time was breathtaking. i love it. it's peaceful, and fun esp when you go with random strangers who are very good sports. fun loving spanish and italians, cute little japanese and random germans. and entertaining guides.

next week, tahoe.

what it means to be brown

2007-10-13T13:30:00.000+08:00

getting lost while walking from one class to another has it's advantages. i now know that there are 2 kinds of brown people in america. there's the kind who think they are white (usually the girls) and then there's the kind who think they are black - the guys, duh.

in other news, i suggest that you all bake some cookies, preferably chocolate chip, and while the cookies are baking run out and buy some ben and jerry's cookie dough ice cream and then eat them together, when the cookies are semicooled and still warm and gooey. it's addictive, sweet, and absofuckinglutely delicious. if you want to guarantee yourself clogged arteries then be sure to add a generous helping of hershey's chocolate syrup on it.

see you in chocolate hell. (:

on looney buns and girly mans.

2007-10-10T02:36:00.000+08:00

it'd had been a while since i'd read mrbrown (sorry mrbrown, i didn't mean to! i preferred it when you wrote rather than podcasted. sorry hor i old fashioned. plus perezhilton is brainless hahah) and random clicking led me there this morning.

and there was another of those 'english' translation of a song from the indian cinema industry. and a whole host of comments saying that it was very funny thank you mrbrown for posting it i will share this with my friends yadda yadda.

now, i am not an uptight indian prick (okay fine maybe i am HAHA) but seriously, i agree (only to a certain extent) with that very passionate guy who has argued that laughing at such things is ignorance and it reinforces stereotypes. to that some chinese and indians got quite cheesed off and told him to lighten up and get a life.

yes. it's funny, but not that funny.

ignorance has resulted in people not being able to tell the difference between hindi/tamil/telugu and everything is just included in the term 'bollywood'. i don't think it's just a subtle difference. there's as much difference as there is between a japanese, korean, taiwanese, mandarin soap opera. they are different industries altogether.

anything indian? anything that involves a dance in the field and around a tree? (seriously they do NOT dance around coconut trees, they've progressed to the mountains of switzerland and the streets of new york) must be bollywood.

and laughing at such a video, that's fine. but laughing without knowing the indian cinema industry and how it works is just irritating. you laugh because they have (according to you) funny dance moves and it's sung in a weird language (hello people actually speak this weird language, even in singapore, yes they do!) and they wear funny clothes but this is an inherent part of this culture.

i'm sorry if the K-pop and J-pop and taiwanese and mandarin markets have that much western influence. honestly, there isn't much difference between MTV asia and MTV anymore. appreciate the fact that there's an industry out there that has identity, it's own character and personality. that these industries (be in bollywood, kollywood or anything else) have a history and a legacy with its own well known and well respected actors, directors and producers. appreciate the variety - from the mtv style pop routines to the classy bollywood numbers to indian folk to classical indian dance forms, indian cinema celebrates diversity. and apparently this diversity is laughed AT and not laughed WITH.

that's the difference. go ahead and laugh. admittedly some of it is funny shit. laugh with, don't laugh AT. you laugh at when you compare it to the style that you are used to and you make an unconscious judgment that what you are watching is the weirdest thing on earth. grow up, other cultures exist other than yours.

this is the kind of shit that leads to people reacting with 'wow so you know bollywood dancing/bhangra' (apparently they are the same thing) when i tell someone i learn indian dance. and then they tell me 'i also know indian dance!' and they enthusiastically put their palms together and attempt to shake their necks which could easily be mistaken for muscle spasms.

so stop it, we don't dance around coconut trees.

i think this is the result of me doing a module on asian theatre and drama. haahah.

exchange

2007-10-06T11:27:00.000+08:00

it is said that exchange is a process of self discovery and learning. i vouch for that, it is true.

i now know that cutting onions while watching america's next top model (oh come on! it was down to the final 2!) is a bad idea.

on the good side, i no longer cry when cutting onions. my tears have self control now. or perhaps i was too shocked at my finger dripping blood over the white counter.

if you get lost

2007-09-15T23:00:00.000+08:00

there are always trusty road signs to guide your way (:

chess.

2007-09-12T14:04:00.000+08:00

so we figured it was about time to do something slightly more intellectual, and it was about time i acted my age so chess it was. and it was effectively the last date before i left. and i thought chess would feed his ego (not like it needs any more encouragement) because he would kick my ass and checkmate me in 2 moves.

so this is what our chessboard looked like. i had an advantage because the triple word score was closer to my side than his. i was also under the assumption that a chess board was black and white, but now that i know it's got colour, chess might just be so much more exciting! yay!

it was also fun to play with different sized pieces. look my king was so much bigger than his, and my pawn was actually an ostracized bishop. which is so much cooler than playing with twigs and leaves.

i still learnt a bit of chess (although when i come back i still have to relearn everything) but it was amusing insisting that the queen was more powerful than the king, naming my chess pieces and when my pawn turned into a queen i tried to give her a wreath made from weeds.

see you when i get back (i'm NOT telling you) and don't miss me too much yea? (:

survival of the fittest.

2007-09-11T02:39:00.000+08:00

it's a jungle out there. a cruel, crowded and claustrophobic world. a lesson we all have to learn is how to get out of there alive, how to dodge obstacles that hinder your way and get to your destination without losing the way. such is the philosophy of mustafa.

seriously. it takes skill to maneuver your way through those tiny isles of shampoos and moisturisers and whitening products. mustafa isles are not made for indian bums. therefore, my logical conclusion, mustafa isles are not made for 2 indian bums. nor are mustafa isles made for 2 indian bums carrying laden trolleys and baskets. it's an all out war on who shoves who out of the way.

playing nice is not an option. if you follow what they taught you in primary school moral education, don't. there is no such thing as courtesy, cooperation and carefulness and consideration (did anyone else sing the courtesy song other than me?) in mustafa. no one cares. quite obviously none of us paid attention in narkudimakkal. pushing and shoving are the values upheld. 'excuse me's fall on deaf ears and any yelps of protests of trolleys that 'accidentally' roll over your toes elicits a response that includes an obviously unapologetic glare.

someone should come up with rules. who has the right of way? a man lazily swinging an empty yellow basket or the young girl huffing and puffing and pushing a fully laden trolley? quite obviously the former. give way, unless your willing for your trolley to spin out of control and risk falling very unglamly on the floor while watching the papaya in your trolley rise high in the air in slow motion and fall splat on your head while you attempt to clamour up among the rolling apples and shampoo bottles and fall back on the floor just so your hairclip can jab you in the butt.

and mustafa employees, do less sightadichifying and move out of my way. and cashiers - would it hurt to speed up?

i survived. thanks mum.

bored.

2007-09-05T10:29:00.000+08:00

i am bored. i have stuff to do but they are at odd times and so i can't make any plans to fill up my time. i am bored stiff. i have counted by fingers and toes, i now know that i have 25 eyelashes on my right eye and 27 on the left (darn assymmetry!) and i have 99876 - oops make that 99874 - strands of hair on my head.

i should consider getting rid of my moustache but wth i am supposed to be a boy on sunday. hmmm boys can't go around having perfectly shaped nails so you know what, i'll go chew my nails down to their cuticles so i will look like a cowherd on sunday.